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[07 Oct 2009|03:50am] |
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stop talking to your ex. it really makes the scar through the middle of my heart burn, and makes the thought of giving up on us and disappearing forever seem benificial even if it kills me. i fucking hate that no matter what he'll always be better than me. fuck.
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(is the reason.)
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[26 Sep 2009|08:50pm] |
i'm just going to write random thoughts and feelings that are most likely going to end up in the songs i'm writing right now. so if things don't make any sense, it's ok, because they're really not supposed to. i'm just catalogging.
sometimes people say they're in love with
someone else because they're afraid that if
they stay in love with you they'll get hurt again.
it's not that they see past what you have
it's not that they don't charish what you have
they're just not ready to put it all in one bag.. again.
a smart sailor is the one that has
his wit tending to the vessel and it's mast
but the smartest ones see only the girl back home
cause see, the high seas will show you many things
the edge of life and everything that you can be
but only that girl can show you EVERYTHING
so if you set sail with your back to her
make sure you know what the sacrifice is worth
being in love is the greatest thing on earth.
We have a funny way of flirting honey, now that our lives are taxed by growing up.
the only, the only thing that matters it the only thing that matters to us is us.
AND I WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE IM JUST WASTING MY TIME.
you teach me, to care outside myself and share the wealth of all i've learned in this life.
so to thank you, i will be a man remain in bloom, and carry us through the blue.
as long as you'll stay
THIS SONG REMAINS THE SAME
The train is pulling up
i'm only entertaining for the weekend for a friend.
but little lady has a smile
she has a smile against which there aint no defense
i use my voice
it's all i can to is sing
i'm sinking into your eyes.
we've only just met
we only have the rest of our lives.
i am nervous
you are nervous
we are falling in love
please get to work on time
let those peering dwn from the ladder see your burning eyes.
the lock is rusted on your family door
there aint no handouts anymore.
woah oh
please pay your bills
only pains to come from seeking those who will
earn that paycheck for your own seed
that's the most a man you'll ever be
woah oh oh
please invest in your friends
your love for them forgotten better remind them
your only taxing while they care for you
realize your debts and pay your dues
before you know it we'll be old folks too
please show the little lady all you love.
make sure she knows its her you're really thinking of.
I just wanted
the chance to
ask you
to marry me
in mid september at the drake
and all the trees' leaves
surrounding
turning green
glady sway
and chase all the bees away.
and all the traffic
on michigan
stops just then
to witness me
fall in love with you again.
and our vows are glinting
and accent
how absent
our hearts of fear
your finger puncuated in stone
and our swirrling egdes
in excitment
are unitied
like a puzzle
like a puzzle
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(is the reason.)
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| oh yeah |
[14 Jan 2009|11:58am] |
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this journal is done. my new active journal is thebadbook. see ya around like a donut
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(is the reason.)
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| To the friends that have kept this journal as an active one, I'm back and have grown. |
[31 Dec 2008|05:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
The last page of 08' is about to turn. It has been 123 weeks since I last updated my livejournal.
I'm moving into a fresh apartment with the beginning of a fresh year. I am surviving in Chicago, IL. I'm deeply in love. I have a full time job at a bar/restaurant/lounge/club called The Lion Head Pub and The Apartment on Lincoln Ave. I've developed a greater sense of balance with maturity and free spirit. I can prioritize! I used to be terrified of growing up especially on my own. Now I am eager to and very much comforted by this inevitable circumstance. My guiding light in darkness is a woman named Barbara Jean Harris. She is the hammer forging the blade that is my manhood(not referring to my body parts). The blade that has severed my fear and self doubt. Our love and the mutual tolerance for one another in concurrence and disagreement has been a blessing to me. So my new year's resolution is to succeed wherever I have failed in our years. To finally bring ME to the table and lay before my guiding light a truly devout mate. Unfortunately I have to cut this short. I need as much rest as I can get for moving, serving the masses their holiday spirits, and most importantly regeneration of the machine that is my body. In other words I am fucking tired.
Start moving at 10:00 am.
Start work at 4:00 pm.
End work at 2:00 am.
Start living at 2:01 am.
+)
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(is the reason.)
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[14 May 2006|03:53am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
KoLS a wonderful puddle. |
] |
soooooooo.
Why I love Chicago:
If i need to go anywhere, skateboard.
There's an adventure around every corner.
I can backpack beer to the beach.
Despite being donned so, the city is not that windy.
If you want a job, just tell them you're from michigan. you're hired.
I don't have to buy and alarm clock thanks to traffic.
Soooooo many storessss.
bums are hilarious.
all museums are free on tuesdays.
The suck part:
no kevin.
there are more taxis than there are people.
cigarettes. 8$ yeah. i don't smoke anymore.
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(2 texas | is the reason.)
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[22 Apr 2006|11:38am] |
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i have a billion kind of like spitting cd's, a skateboard, and a 7 day CTA pass now. the city is miiiiiine.
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(2 texas | is the reason.)
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| life gets heavy |
[13 Apr 2006|05:10am] |
Cheryl Lynn Kopke was my mother. She passed away when I was 5 years old. I am lucky enough to have memories of her, all of which i love. She lived for 28 years. I am uncertain as to in which light i should examine that. Twenty-eight years. Was she happy? What were her favorite things? Vices? I have only been alive for twenty years now, and I feel incredibly lucky to have met the ones i have met, loved those i have loved.
I stride through every day of my life to the beat of my own drum. The day I blindly abandoned my roots and sought what I percieved to be independance I had decided, every day there-after, to repel pain and emotional suffering with adventure, combat anger and evil within myself with love and devotion to others, and shield my friends from the bumpy road in their own lives with outstanding loyalty. I would have the strength of a thousand men in my endevours. I would also largely derrive these qualities from a single image in my heart of my mother smiling and the belief that her and I would have been best friends. That would could've done anything together and it would've been genius. That she could fly, and would have tought me how, but I was just too young.
I got the news the other day that Grandmother Kopke was dying. There are only 3 pieces of my mother left in this world. Myself, my brother, and my Grandmother. In the time it took to process this information I cought a glimpse of myself. While I cartwheeled over every problem, and offered only my tongue in a 'NAHHHH' fashion, I had forgotten that I am part of someone that meant the whole world to my Grandmother. Though as little effort as a simple phone call is all i might have taken I have been utterly non-existant. I stride through every day of my life to the beat of my own drum. Until recently that drum has been perfectly in-time.
you win again asshole
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(1 texa | is the reason.)
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[04 Apr 2006|06:38am] |
gonna take a walk outsiide todaaay
gonna see what we can fiind todaaay
gonna take a walk outsiide todaaay
gonna see what we can find todaaaaaay
i had a kitten named milo. when i was about 4. he was eaten by a husky. but you should have seen how brave he looked diving down on his executer. had we gotten to him sooner i'm sure he would've said "What? it was 2 on 1 man.."
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(is the reason.)
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[01 Mar 2006|06:42am] |
I hung out with fucking joey wallace tonight! thank god.
I explored the shit out of an abandoned warehouse/factory tonight! thank god.
I helped kill a half gallon of whiskey tonight! thank god.
I wrote a song about you and forgot it in ten minutes tonight! thank god.
I've lost sleep, have a whole album, and have stopped eating over the last 3 years b/c of you! thank god.
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(2 texas | is the reason.)
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[03 Feb 2006|04:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Learn the Songs of Phil Ochs!! |
] |
Desert Places has strings! Two guitars, a cello, and a violin! AANND T-shirts! It sounds so goooood. They look so neeaaat.
I get to be the henry ford museum's concubine for the next 48 hours. straight. damn. see you on sunday.
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(is the reason.)
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[15 Jan 2006|06:21am] |
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I HATE MY HAIR! I go get it cut all the time. It just grows back. I can't win!
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(2 texas | is the reason.)
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| wow haven't been on this thing in awhile. |
[03 Jan 2006|06:17am] |
Damn. I can't imagine many people will even recieve this post, therego I will keep it relatively short.
I am a security guard. Don't you feel safe now? heh.
About a month ago i had a countless number of friends and amazing people in my life. I was involved in a musical project that I can honestly call my proudest work. I had a full time job with healthcare benifits and union protection (yeahright). And i almost completely fooled myself into believing.. no, actually feeling that i had gotten rid of an old ghost.
Just like me, I ran from it all. Just ran.
It turns out that i am a battered shell of a man.
That was not intended to rhyme.
So where did i run to?
Well i can't really say where i am right now. It's hard to. I just kinda wander around with a backpack full of CDs and a deep scar.
I have a brandnew truck. I never drive it.
I HAVE A GODDAMNED TEDDY BEAR!
I'm fucked up. I have to be. I never used to be.
I don't know. I guess i just need to be alone for a while.
There has to be just one answer out there for me.
1 more Kind of Like Spitting CD untill my collection is complete. Booya.
and I bought both Kanye West CDs. Love.
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(3 texas | is the reason.)
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[04 Apr 2004|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ra ha |
] |
| [ |
music |
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funyuns |
] |
i am the luckiest, and happiest man alive.
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(is the reason.)
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[04 Apr 2004|11:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 meow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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emory rockin the acoustic |
] |
yesterday was a dream. MCR. rachel. good weather. i must say i had alot of fun. things are going really well right now. i just need a job, and then i'm done. i'll have everything. rachel, band, great friends, money, and some responsibility.
woot
WOOOOT
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(1 texa | is the reason.)
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[03 Apr 2004|04:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i'm out of it |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
brandnew - no seat belt song |
] |
i'm STTAAAARRVING..
so i'll play some more yahoo euchre, since that is how bored i am.
bored of being hungry, jesus fuck.
i smoked my last to cigarettes this morning, and i don't have anymore, so i'm probably not going to smoke the rest of the night, and i feel really good about that. i'm still hungry though.
|
(2 texas | is the reason.)
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